Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Tony Grossi is Retarded

It amazes me that someone over at the Plain Dealer looks at Tony Grossi's paycheck every week and and thinks it's a good idea to keep signing it. Obviously, whoever that person is, he or she doesn't read the paper.

This morning, Grossi decided to treat Browns fans to two well-constructed pieces. The first, an overview of the situation facing Mangini, included statements such as:

"Lerner interviewed Kokinis on Sunday and a mutual positive feeling emerged."

Now that, my friends, is some hard hitting reporting. But that's not even the best part. By far, the most interesting read in this morning's PD was Grossi's rankings of Browns players' performance this season. Allow me to give you some of the highlights. Keep in mind, according to Grossi, these rankings "are not based on potential, athletic ability or draft status, but on actual production versus opportunity and role, with some consideration given to past performance and to intangibles." I have no idea what that means but let's take a look anyway.

The first five in order are: Rogers, Cribbs, Dawson, Pontbriand, and Joe Thomas. Hard to argue there. But at 6, things start to get really interesting. In that spot, we find our old friend Jamal Lewis. Grossi must've really been impressed by Lewis's "actual production" (3.6 ypc) given his limited "opportunity" (only 279 carries!).

A few more fun tidbits from these rankings:
  • Brandon McDonald is 11th while Eric Wright is 23rd. Am I missing something here?

  • Kamerion Wimbley is 12th while Steve Heiden is 19th and Lawrence Vickers is 25th. In all fairness to Wimbley though, even for a first round pick, he does have a great wingspan!

  • Braylon Edwards is 15th! He must've scored really high on those intangibles. Apparently, Grossi views Braylon's complaining, destroying team chemistry, and telling the fans to blow him as positives.

  • At 46th, Donte' Stallworth was not dead last. If I were Shantee Orr, Gerard Lawson, or Travis Daniels, I would be a little curious as to what I did to get ranked below this legendary bust.

You can see the complete rankings for yourself here

Special thanks to Tony Grossi for being terrible at his job and thus, unintentionally funny.


Anonymous said...

Braylon is 15, not 17.

Alvaro Espinoza said...

Thanks, it has been corrected

Alvaro Espinoza said...

Pretty bad when your long snapper is a top five player on the season. Biff, how would you rank the players - it might be interesting to get your perspective on that - I can respond in the like

Biff said...

I'd prefer not to have to re-live every players' 08 performances. I'd rather spend my time ranking the draft prospects as they relate to the Browns' needs.

Art Brosef said...

There is a long snapper, a punter,a kicker, and a special teams specialist (mostly) in the top ten. Meanwhile, we have 4 FIRST ROUND picks ranked 11-20.

And to make matters worse, we TRADED UP to get 3 of those first round picks, who last year were unable to outperform the long snapper.